A New Future For Me!

Hey everyone!

I'm moving my blog.  Currently I am in the process of setting up/designing/figuring out how to work a new blog site.  I'm tired of this one and ready to move forth and eventually try to get my own domain name.  Lets see how tech savvy I can be.

The new blog website is:
www.courtenaymcfadden.wordpress.com

If I managed to work it correctly, everything from this blog will transfer over to the new blog.

Thank goodness for technology!

Desire

Well, I can't lie and say I'm not completely satisfied, but I also can't not be satisfied after Nationals (note to reader...this might be stupidly long).

Saturday race in Bend.  

I know I never wrote about Bend.  Actually I was trying to forget about Bend because I felt SO tired!  I didn't have the best races of my life when I was there.  Saturday my legs where so freakin' tired I had NO power, I literally wanted to curl up into a ball, sleep, and then cry because I felt so terrible, I think i ended up 18th or something horrid like that.  Sunday, I didn't want to race, but I did, and I am glad I did.  The first half lap I felt terrible, but then my legs opened up and I ended up catching a lot of girls and finished 13th (I think).  All in all, Sunday was better, but really not what I wanted (I see a trend...I think I crack in these bigger races).  One positive thing about Bend, my local fans all over the course cheering my name so loudly I couldn't help but smile.  Thank You.

I can't be totally disappointed in my season, but in a small way, I am.  It was such a learning experience for me this year, that I know exactly where I went wrong.  First and foremost, traveling is exhausting, having to wake up the following day at 5am to go to work, is exhausting.  Racing, traveling, working, and attempting to train is very very very exhausting.  What I'm getting at...is I'm tired.  That's probably because I didn't get to sleep until 1:30am last night and had to work at 6am, but I guess that's the life I have chosen to live, so no complaining.  I find myself comparing my performance to others who probably don't work, who have 100% help from sponsorships and teams, who probably have coaches, who then makes them fast, and who have been doing this much longer than myself.  Then...I get down on myself and think what am I doing here, I don't deserve it, I'm just not that strong.

The positives I need to remind myself:

• This is my 3rd year racing CX and my 4th year of actually racing bikes, I'm pretty new to the sport.
• This was my first year traveling and racing UCI races
• People believe in me
• I coach myself (Because I'm broke)
• I work (sometimes...despite what some may think)
• I have a good life 

I think when I look at myself as a rider I see the beginner who could hardly pedal up hill, I see the girl who took 4 hours to ride 50 miles, the girl who can't possibly win a race, the girl who will amount to nothing in cycling, the girl who people didn't think could do it.  Maybe it's my sports mentality left over from brutal soccer coaches in high school, but I don't see the athlete inside of me.  I literally am my own worst critic.  Maybe it's an identity crisis?  I don't identify with those at the Elite level because I have only been there 1 season (not mixing it up with the speedies but not quite in the back either), and I'm not at the local scene to identify with my local pals.  I'm lost somewhere in the middle and I don't know exactly where I belong, it's like purgatory, but I'm actually still alive!!!  

So, as I do at the end of every cross season, I move forward, look ahead and figure out how next year I can be better.  I figure out how I can get stronger, and how I can grow my success from this past season.  I continue to feed my obsession of cycling, admiring the true Pros, and working hard to get stronger, faster, better.  

After my first season of racing in the Elites at the local scene and finishing mid pack, my goal was to come back the next season and win races.  I accomplished just that.  Perhaps, after this first season racing Elites at the UCI level my goal should be to come back next year and win races.  

I think it is.  Look for me next year, I will be the girl at the front of the races.

Desire?  Dreaming too big?  I don't know, but I'm going to make it happen.  

Nats report to come later.  

All about our Nugget

Today is one of those days where I don't think it's going to stop raining (a solid 40 degrees with continuous rain), so why not blog?

Back when Nugget and I first met, she couldn't have been older than 4 weeks here

I realized that as my reader (which I know there has to be at least 2...yep that's you Dad and John) you must get bored reading about my racing.  So why not tell you a little about my life.

Nugget after the first night of keeping me up

I'm a cat person...not a dog person.  I don't like it when dogs jump on you or smell you, or they get SO freakin' excited to see you, it's over whelming.  Cats are simple, smart, curious, and adorable.  I love cats.  They are also fluffy, and I like fluffy, so therefore I have wanted a kitten for SO long (Chris said no way)!

The opportunity came and I could get a kitten (Chris still said no way), I didn't listen to him and one day we went and picked up the kitten when she was just a wee little one (8 weeks and hardly 2 pounds).  I picked the cute cross eyed white one, she just needed to come home with me.  Well, I learned a lot about cats and kittens in just a couple of days of having her around.  After she peed and $h&% on our bed because she didn't like the cat litter we bought, we decided to call her Nugget, and immediately went out and bought the litter she likes (please note we haven't had a problem since...actually she likes to roll around in her litter...it's weird I know).

I like flowers.

After about 2 weeks (it felt like 2 months) I didn't think I could handle this little terror any more.  She literally woke me up in the middle of the night 2-3x wanting to play, wanting to eat.  She would attack my ear rings, my ring, my hair, my everything.  I couldn't get away from her.  She didn't sleep, I swear.  If I was home she was attacking my leg, if I was eating she was putting her face in my food.  When she did sleep, I would tip toe around the house hoping she wouldn't wake up.  I took the opportunity to leave for bike rides as a break from the wild freakin' kitten.  She was (still is) a very acrobatic kitten.  Jumping on everything, as high as she could, wanting to be on the couch, the kitchen counter, the windowsills, climbing the curtains.  I couldn't handle this little devil, so we convinced our friends they needed her.

They took her.  It was like a little piece of heaven at home, but truthfully I shed a few tears when she wasn't there.  It took me about a week to get over the fact that I just gave away this cute little Nugget who was just so innocent, but then I remembered I could sleep.  After about 2 weeks of Nugget being gone, we received word that she just wasn't working out at her "new" home.  So, we got the Nugget back and tried to find a new home for her (with no such luck).

Please take me with you

The little devil bitch has grown on me, and she is actually the coolest, smartest, most rockin' cat I know (okay the cutest too).  We bonded, she would follow me into the shower and pace back and forth on the tub between the shower liner and shower curtain, occasionally she would even fall in (she hated it).  She stopped attacking my leg, and together we discovered the laser pointer.  I discovered that if we locked her in the bathroom when she woke up in the middle of the night we couldn't hear her crying to get let out, then she learned, don't wake us up in the middle night.  We have now taught her not to wake us up in the morning when she wants food, if she does...we kick her out into the hall way.  She knows that the only time to wake us up is when our alarms go off and we sit up.  She knows that when we are sleeping in bed (okay most of the time we are faking it because we don't want to get up) and she pounces at us from the floor, she tip toes to the foot of the bed and falls asleep.  I can't deny that it can be scary to have a cat pounce right at your face, but sometimes you have to ignore it for the sake of wanting more sleep.

With the help of treats and food I have taught Nugget to sit.  She has learned that if she wants a treat that she cannot (I repeat cannot) jump up to me for the treat, she must sit like the good little kitty that she is.  Then I decided I got annoyed of the meowing and jumping when she wanted her meals, so now I make her sit before she gets fed (controlling much).  She gets it and follows my commands (smart kitty).  The only problem with this is now when I am in the kitchen preparing myself food she comes trotting (lets be honest...sprinting) into the kitchen and then she sits immediately and looks at me with that sweet face (thinking she is getting a treat) and I can't say no to that.

Nuggets favorite blanket

She is a sweet little kitty, she cuddles up to me in bed when I sleep in, she says goodbye to me when I leave the house (by jumping up onto the windowsill by the front door), she greets me at the door when I come home, she talks to me in her own kitty language (some other language that isn't meows).  We go on "runs" around the house (I lead her in a really excited voice and she follows me), she especially likes this game when the laser pointer is involved.  She lets me cut her nails, rub her belly, and take her for car rides crate free!  She is just the best, I just love that little Freakin' Nugget. 

Tucked away and sleeping

Sometimes she hides her eyes from me while sleeping.  I think she is trying to make it as dark as possible

She must smell everything

Tiny fuzzy Nugget

She likes to chill in sinks...but only for about 60 seconds

Always distracted

I had to share with you how awesome all 6 pounds my cat is and how she has grown to take over my heart and even Chris's.  He just loves her to pieces, and she loves him too (but me more).

19733 miles down and only 1629 miles to go

19,733 Miles

Since my first flight to Vegas this season I have traveled 17297 miles by air and 2436 miles by car.  I don't even want to count how many miles I have traveled by bike.  :-)  

As the season wraps up I have so much to be thankful for and so many thoughts running through my head regarding the past 4 months.  I never imagined myself to be in the place I am right now (okay currently I am on an airplane flying back from Hawaii, and I knew I would be here 4 months ago).  4 months ago Cross nationals was not on my calendar, 4 months ago Fort Collins, LA, Louisville, Iowa City, and LA were not on my calendar.  My calendar consisted of Cross Vegas (for the heck of it as a "mini moon"), local races, dreaming of Hawaii, some more local races, and more dreaming of Hawaii.  I think the last thing I remember from the past 4 months is waking up the morning of our wedding.  I hardly remember the day, the night, the next day, Vegas, the following weeks of travel and racing.  As I sit here on the airplane in a completely serene place and fully relaxed I realize my life has literally flashed before me.  Is today seriously Dec. 23rd (yes I realize I will not be posting this today, so it WILL sound a bit dated when you read it).  I haven't thought about anything the past 4 months except for training, racing, and recovering.  I haven't given people the attention they deserve, I haven't been good about replying to my emails, keeping up with my awesome friends, or even listening to a word anyone has been saying.  I have been floating in a cloud in my own little world traveling, racing, working, resting, traveling, racing, working, resting.  What I don't get, is how do people have jobs and function well at their job, let alone race well all the time?  I know a lot of the girls I'm racing against HAVE to have jobs, tell me…tell me the secret of racing, traveling, and working, because come December I was WORN down!  Mentally, physically exhausted.  

Would I take any of this back?  Absolutely not.  Never.  Never would I go to Louisville if it weren't for a bike race.  Never would I have been able to see Colorado if it weren't for a bike race.  Never would I have truly known my full potential as a racer had I not traveled to these races.  I have a number of people to be thankful for all of this.  First off, I'm thankful for my husband who placed the bug in our friends ear.  I'm thankful for our friend at Cliff Bar (I don't like to mention names in my blogs just in case people don't want their name mentioned…so they remain anonymous), because of him I was able to get 3 of the 4 USGP's, entries covered.  He put the bug in other people's ear and rallied the troops for support.  He also put in some $$$ for my funds, which was awesome and covered all my baggage fee's at the airport.  I'm thankful for one of my teammates who rallied other teammates to help.  One teammate used their air miles to get me to and from the USGP's while another teammy pitched in some $$ to help support the cause (again more $$ to cover airline baggage fees and food).  I'm thankful for Mad Fiber, a Seattle based wheel company, for loaning me a set of crazy light carbon tubulars (my first time ever on tubulars).  I'm once again thankful for our Cliff Bar friend who stepped up and sent an email to Redline asking for a little bit of race support for me (and a B bike).  I'm thankful that Redline accepted and offered a B bike and race support at the USGP's and Nationals (which has been HUGE…extra bike, wheels, help).  I'm forever grateful for one of the best members at the BAC for using miles to get me to Nationals (and not to mention to help get me into this whole bike riding business).  If I didn't have such an amazing community of people around me, I wouldn't be where I am (again…not physically) today.  I can't express enough gratitude toward those people and nothing I can do in return will ever let them know how much their efforts (large and small) mean to me.  

So the question now remains "did I gain what I was hoping to gain out of this adventure"?  I sure hope so.  The future looks promising, but until it's set in stone my lips are sealed.  

What did I learn from this experience?  The biggest thing I learned (besides that I can be a head case) is that every race, every travel experience, every moment of this adventure, I'm learning.  I soak it up like a sponge.  Every race I learn something new, heck I learn lots of new things every race.  Never can you master this cyclocross business, because just when you think you know what you're doing, you are thrown a curveball.  I learned that every race can't be your best race, you can't be awesome every time!   learned that I need to work on riding my bike in sand and when you trip on really steep metal stairs…you shoe can break.  I learned that the sport of cyclocross has a lot of depth and a lot of growth (particularly in the women's field).  I feel so lucky to have stumbled upon such an amazing sport.  My first year racing in the big leagues has treated me well, but I'm still a small fish in a large pond, I have lots of growth that needs to be developed, lots of strength that needs to build.  Seeing where I am this season gives me hope for next year, hope that if I actually buckle down and think about "training" I will.  Hope that if I have direction I can only be faster, stronger, and better.  

One last race left this season, Nationals.  I go into nationals quite rested, I just took a 2 week honeymoon in Hawaii, hopefully I didn't get too fat and out of shape.  From now until when I leave, I focus on training, getting in some quality "training" so I can be the best I can be at nationals!!

And now here I am...January 4th posting my blog post.  ENJOY MY FRIENDS.  I told you it wouldn't be posted on the 23rd.  

Muddy Monroe to Muddy...LA?

If you have been keeping up with me on my blog you must know how much I love my local scene.  My local team, my local competitors, everything about them I love and miss.  I love walking around saying hello to everyone, knowing my competitors and knowing how much love everyone shares for each other, so I had to race the final race of the Seattle Series, as a bonus the weather promised mud (and mud was delivered).

The race was fantastically wonderful, the course rode really well, super smooth, no choppy weird corners, the steep decent was actually rideable this year, and there was a HUGE mud puddle plus some slippery corners.  The sand high way was in fact a high way, not a power zapping slog (like usual).  I got into a groove, and just rode my little heart out with a huge smile on my face the whole time.  I love my local scene, and because of this I have learned a few lessons along the way at the uh..not local scene.  

CXLA Cross After Dark Finale

In order to feel comfortable you need to know people, you need to talk to people and be friendly.  Don't be shy, when you meet someone, say hello when you see them again.  Running around the country racing sure isn't the local scene, but it is what you make it.  Sure these women aren't my local friends but they can be my traveling friends, they can be the ones I look forward to seeing when I travel, they can be the ones who congratulate you when you do well, and they can be the ones to push you beyond what you knew you could do.  I am thankful for my national competitors, I am thankful for their smiles, their energy, their hard work, their enthusiasm for the sport.  I am thankful for those I have met a long the way, for those that have helped me get through my races with confidence, for those who have helped me when I didn't know where to turn for help, or when I had no one.  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be where I am today.

The weekend before Bend I chose to head down to sunny LA...excuse me, rainy La, for the finale of the CX in the Dark series.  Looking back at it, I shouldn't have gone, but I'm glad I did, because every weekend I learn something new.  The trip was quick, fly out of Bellingham at 5am Saturday, fly back into Seattle at 10pm SUnday.  The trip left me exhuasted all week long and straight into the trip to Bend.  The positives of LA:

I was able to visit my friend Marielle who I haven't seen since she moved, I scored a few more UCI points, it was muddy, I met some awesome people.  I showed up to the race on Saturday with my bikes still packed in their bike box and my luggage trailing behind me.  Thank goodness for Downtown LA Bicycles, they built my bikes for me and acted as my support for the weekend, I truly don't beleive I could have gotten through the weekend with them.  It was also nice to have some local help from Bellingham Promoter and friend Ryan Rickerts, who pitted for me Saturday night and cheered loudly all race long.

On Sunday my dad's friend and wife came out and cheered LOUDLY so I could hear!  It was fantastic.      After the race, I cleaned myself up (kind of), packed my bags, had the kindness of my lovely Downtown LA Bicycles support crew pack my bikes up for me, and away I went with my dad's friend.      They where SO kind they even let me shower at their home!  I would say the highlight of the weekend was driving by my Grandparents old home in San Marino, CA.  SOOOOO many memories in that home, it was such a treat to see it again.  Oh yea, I had a 7th and 8th place finish for the weekend.  Not too bad, considering the field was full of fast ladies.

Once again a large shout out to Dorothy Wong for putting on a fantastic race.  The course was awesome, full of fun features, and she even delivered rain and MUD!  I can't wait to attend next years UCI races in LA.

Thank you SCX for putting together a lovely local series, I am proud to say I am a part of (when I was home) the local scene.  I know every weekend you guys work hard to pull together some fantastic races and AWESOME courses.  Thank You!

My Tour of the Midwest Part 2: Iowa City Jingle Cross Rock

No matter what happens between now and 1 year from now, this race will be on my calendar.

It all started Friday morning.  I packed up my bags and was picked up in the great big van and we drove to Iowa City where I continued on my Gypsy Rein.  I was a little worried about driving for 5 hours in the car before my race, so I made sure to ride around a lot and get a good warm up in (it was also quite cold once the sun set).  

All it took was 1 lap around the race course and I knew I could do "well" (Courtenay well, everyones definition of well is different).  The Friday night course was under the lights and had this awesomely long and steep run up, with a blazing fast decent to the bottom.  Then the rest of the course was prety flat with lots of turns and with the exception of one short steep up to an off camber then another short bumpy fast decent.

We lined up under the lights and then the race began.  I had a fairly decent start and then passed more people once I arrived at the run up. The last couple of laps I found myself in a group of really strong women, and for some reason I was having a very difficult time turning my bicycle in a particular section of turns (which it wasn't until the 3rd race that I actually figured those darn turns out)!  The group ended up falling apart and I finished 6th.  Friday night was ladies night, so it was the big payout night.  Not too shabby to get handed a check for $425 (the most money I will ever make in 40 minutes).  

The following day we were in for a good technical decent.  This time, instead of running up the hill they made it so we could ride our bikes up the hill (what a concept right?  I prefer the running part though).   At the top of this steep climb was a just as steep (or perhaps steeper) technical, switch back, off camber decent.  Did I mention it was bumpy?  After a good tough battle (for 40 minutes) of me sucking at those turns (once again) I ended up 8th.  I was pleased with 8th.

Friday night mount under the lights

Sunday the course made a change for...the better?  The climb was now half a run up and half a ride up (or if you have real strong legs and a smaller gear than a 25 the whole thing was a ride up).  I chose to run half the hill and ride the other half.  I did end up passing quite a few girls by choosing to run it, because there comes a point where you just can't pedal anymore and they would bobble.  I think my technique worked well.  The first lap I found myself in a group and then solo chasing a group in front of me.  The wind...oh the wind!  I wish it wasn't windy.  The group in front of me was able to work together and every lap they put a few seconds on me and stayed in no mans land for the entire race, not losing ground to the women behind me, but certainly not making up ground to the women in front of me.  This time I finished 7th.

A 6th, 7th, and 8th place finish for the weekend.  I'm pretty happy with that.  I will be back next year, because this course and race was by the far one of the most fun I have had at a cross race in a long time.  Thank you to the promoters for putting together such fantastic-ness and for letting me call, email, and text you to get into registration when I had a brain F@rt and forgot to register.

The following day (Monday) I was in for a long travel day.  Out of Cedar Rapids, into the Chicago, then to Seattle, then the drive back to beautiful Bellingham.  Thank you to my husband Chris for picking me up every weekend.  I love you!

My Tour of the Midwest Part 1: I felt like a train wreck

Let me tell you what it feels like to be a train wreck.

It all started in Louisville, KY.  I don't know what happened, but somewhere between Seattle and Louisville I lost my confidence.  Maybe I should have gone home to pick it up.  My time in Louisville was great, I had great company, stayed in this incredible mansion, and ate amazing home cooked food.

Enough of that.

I don't need to tell you how my races at the USGP went.  They didn't go well.  I was a head case and a cluster F***.  I couldn't ride my bike in the sand, I couldn't run, and I couldn't find my confidence.  Saturday was terrible, I literally felt like I was scooped up, chewed, and then spit back out to deal with the mess.  I thought Sunday would go better, but then my mental health got the best of me, I broke down and became a head case.  Crashed in the sand...on my bike, not sure how that happens, lost a place and lots of seconds.   Then I slipped on the stair case, broke my shoe, lost a place and lots of seconds.  Broke my shoe, the first thing that came to mind was "can I quit".  I didn't quit, even though I so badly wanted to.  I finished, had a mini panic attack by myself, had a full on crying session with someone else, and then tried to re-group.

Needless to say, when it was time to leave, I couldn't have been more excited.  So, I piled into a car with 3 other people and we drove to Sheboygan, WI.  Look it up on a map if you don't know where it is.  I was excited to literally sit around and not do anything for the week, to let my body and mind rest a little after the train wreck of a weekend.

Monday I slept in, well I think I literally slept all day.  It's amazing how travel, racing, and mental craziness can cause you to be so tired!  That evening I had my first experience in a Piggly Wiggly (I don't really want to go back), there is no Organic Section.  This made me miss my home town with home grown organic deliciousness and buy local stickers everywhere.  The week ended up being quite relaxing, ate a lot, rode around Sheboygan, checked out Lake Michigan, slept, played iPad games, and then the week made a turn for the "worse".  I was too relaxed, I forgot to register for the races in Iowa the following weekend (and my sunglasses fell out of my helmet and were hit by a car).  Train Wreck.  I wasn't sure if this was a sign that I shouldn't race that I should just fly home.

After talking to my ever relaxing husband on the phone, a phone call to the race promoter, and lots of breathing, we figured it out and I was set to race.  So Friday morning I was piled back into the large van and we drove to Iowa City for some bike racing!

Cracked

Cracked.

That's all I have to say about the USGP in Louisville.  

I cracked.  Better luck next time.

Success - Courtenay's Dictionary

Success.

Everyone defines success differently (in terms of racing).  Success to one person might be winning a race, achieving a PR, finishing a head of a nemesis, making the podium, or not finishing last.  I have reached the point in my racing endeavor that success to me is no longer winning.  

Enumclaw.  SCX #5.

Dennis Crane Photography

One of my top favorite local courses I have ever raced (that and Woodland Park).  I had been looking forward to Enumclaw since the start of the season.  Enumclaw means mud, a nasty run up, a sweet decent, and a HUGE smile on my face.  Last year after this race I remembered why I race cross, why I have such a love hate relationship with rain and cold and last year was successful.  Enumclaw defines the reasons why cyclocross is fun (some may beg to differ).  So, to say the least, I was EXCITED to race this course, I made sure I was home and not traveling around.  Un-successful describes my race.  To an every day spectator and reader you may wonder "un-successful, but you won".  Who cares that I won?  I don't (okay of course I do a little bit, but that's besides the point).  


Success to me:

A successful race to me means smooth cornering, getting into a groove, becoming "one" with the course (that's total hokey I know), no fumbling around, no slipping and falling on your @$$ (or face).  Success to me is having fun.  All of those words I used to describe a successful race make it fun.  Fun is smiling through the mud that is caked in your teeth and flinging into your eye balls.  Fun is leg cramping run ups with an equally awesome decent, fun is getting into such an awesome groove that you don't want the race to end.  Fun is success and success is fun.  

None of this happened last Sunday.  I learned a lot (like I do every race).  I don't have to be racing at the national level to learn that the tires I have are not mud tires.  I'm still so new to this sport that I don't know anything.  I finished the race in first, but I don't feel like I won.  I couldn't get into a groove, I couldn't corner to save my life, and I crashed in the most silliest places.  WTH.  My bike wouldn't go in a straight line, no matter how hard I tried to get it there, I finally figured out I had to slow down to negative miles per hour in order to corner.  I couldn't accelerate out of the corner until my bike was facing forward, or else I crashed.  It was embarrassing to say the least.  I crashed 3 times.  3 times.  3 times.  That's not fun.  Okay, 1 of those times my hand slipped off the bars on the bumpy decent and I hit the ground HARD.  I went over my bars…in a cross race.  WTH.  This is NOT success.  So let me tell you and everyone else out there.  I may have won the race, but I didn't deserve the win.  I don't even know how I won.  I had an embarrassing showing of my performance and I didn't have fun.  I finished the race disappointed and honestly…I wanted to cry.  I tried hard to hold it in, but I just couldn't put on the "happy" face.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry to those who had to deal with me, I'm sorry to those who had to witness my lack of amazing performance.  I'm sorry to the 2 men who got caught up behind me (and thankful that they didn't hit me) when I endoed.  I'm sorry to the man who I tried to pass in an un-passable area and made us both fumble.  I'm sorry it looked like I was learning to ride a bike again.  

From Sprinker.  The embarrassment of the giant hole.
Thank you Chris and Mel!

On a positive note, I'm glad this happened at a local race and not a national race.  Now I know which tubulars are mud tires and which ones aren't.  I'm learning.  

I am also very thankful for Redline Bicycles.  They have offered a Co-Sponsorship for me for the rest of the season.  What does this mean to me?  This means a "B"  bike, pit help, wheels, a place to warm up at the national races (and a team), this means help.  Help, boy do I need it.  The last 1/8 of the last lap at Enumclaw I pitted for a new bike with actual mud tires (the lap before I came through complaining about how much the tires where sucking).  I was able to handle my bike, it went straight, and I could corner at speed.  Wow, what a difference mud tires make in your performance.  Thank you to Redline Bicycles for that extra help.  I'm looking forward to the rest of the season.  

I'm currently headed to the USGP in Louisville, KY, then heading to Sheboygan, WI for the week, then over to Coralville, IA for 3 days of racing this Jingle Cross Rock.  Which to be honest..I'm a little nervous for!  I hear lots of mud, a huge run up, and a scary decent.  Okay…maybe that's everything I really enjoy?

Can you ride a bike in heels?

Wedding Day

I just had to post this picture to honor my husband.  I think this picture says a lot about the two of us.  First off, it's been just over 1 month since we tied the knot, that's about 4 weeks (4 weekends too).  I have been home for 2 of those weekends.  That means, we have hardly seen each other.  Look how supportive he is.  When I can't pedal the bike because my dress is long and white and I have bright fuchsia colored heels on, I know I can count on my husband.  Okay, not only is he reliable but he helps lead me in the right direction, look at how excited he is to steer us towards the right path in life.  He is always the one to work hard (after all he is pedaling the bike) and I'm the one who gets to sit and enjoy the ride of my life.

Why don't I tell you about my enjoyable life.  I flew to LA Friday morning of the 20th to race my bike (what's new).  A smaller UCI race, means an easier way to get lots of UCI points.  The race was "Spooky Kross" and "Krosstober fest".  The races where freakishly fantastic (at the LA County Fairgrounds in Pomona, CA).  The course (same for each day) started out on a fast pavement incline with a swooping right hander onto an even faster horse track (yes the place where horses race).  We then rode real fast on the horse track before taking a left hander onto some rocky somewhat loose dirt, up some stairs, down a hill into a shaarrrp 180 degree turn, into some berms, under the fly over, through some sand, and onto the grass.  Once in the grass you wove in and out through turns, sprinted on the straight-a-ways and then you where back on a short section of the race track, went behind the track past some barns and then back onto the super fast and wide open track, where you then took a slow loose left hander back on the grass.  Once on the grass you did some more turning, accelerating, and this time leaping (over the barriers).  Once you filed you way through the grass we found ourselves accelerating up onto an awesomely steep fly over, onto a table top straight into a berm, onto another table top, to another berm, to another berm (large berms) and then a BMX pump track, around a turn, over a blip, onto the race track, make a turn and back through the finish area to do some more laps.  Whew that was a mouthful.  Say that really fast, and that's how fast the race was.

I had one thought in my head, and it was "be smart".  Looking back at the race, of course there are things I would change, but it's all a part of the learning experience, and when I'm the one teaching myself, sometimes it just takes a little bit longer.

Saturday night podium

The first day was a night race under the lights, and it was blazing fast, before I knew it, I found myself in front group of 4.  I started realizing how awesome I felt, how it felt so good to not be racing at elevation...I could breath.  My legs didn't feel like lead.  I felt good, I could do this.  With an awesome course, great spectators (including my dads friend!!!!!), and strong competitors I knew this could be a good race.  Yes, like always I fumbled in areas, got passed on sections that I sucked at (like the BMX pump track) but I knew what I had to do to finish the race.  No need to go into detail about how every lap went, but the last lap the race dwindled down to 3 of us, then 2, and then we where all alone and I was sitting in 2nd.  I finished 2nd place!  YES!!!  That's a lot of UCI points!  I was ecstatic at the end of the race, I couldn't believe what I just pulled off.  That's when I realized...I can do this.  I have it in me.

Sunday's Podium

Sunday's race I didn't race as smart as I did on Saturday.  It was the same front group of 4 and we just kept attacking each other, wearing ourselves out.  I feel like I did a lot of leading (which is probably pay back from my lack of leading on Saturday) but hey, if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger.  On the last lap (or was it 2nd to last lap?) a rider made an attack and held it strong to the end, I did everything I could to hang onto the gal in 2nd, but I just couldn't do it, and every time I turned around 4th place was RIGHT on my wheel!  I tried everything to get her away, and then finally on the last straight section before the fly over I hit it hard (especially since I knew she was better at the BMX stuff then me!!).  I was able to get a small gap coming out of the BMX stuff, thought I would be able to hold her off and next thing I knew I hear people going "OOOOWWWWWW" and I hear a sprint taking place.  I turned around and she was up out of the saddle going HARD, so I did what I had to do to hold onto 3rd place.  I had to work for that 3rd place finish, but once again I am beyond excited with my results.  I think I can do this, I think I handle this racing business.  I only hope to go harder, faster, and further.

Overall I had a fantastic weekend in Southern California.  Of course mud would have been great, but Dorothy Wong (race promoter) put together a fantastic race and was able to hook me up with some great host housing for the weekend, it was Courtenay and the dudes.  They where all great, my host housing was extremely helpful and fantastic, the weekend couldn't have been better!

After two weeks of travel I had the privilege to stay home!!!  This last weekend was the SCX Sprinker Park.  I couldn't wait to race a local race and see my CX family!  What a fun course, wow they made some huge improvements on that course, I had a blast, plus the women made me work for the win!  I also was sporting a halloween costume.  Unfortunately for you (and fortunately for me) there are no pictures of it, I called it "The Striptease".  Yes...a piece of wire sticking off a tree tore my skin suit and there was a giant hole right on my left hip, it was probably about 4 inches long!  I couldn't quit the race and I still had 4 laps to go after it happened.  So I just tried my best to keep my cool and ride on.  I thought for a prize I was going to get some needle and thread, but I didn't.  Today I dropped my skinsuit off at the seamstress to fix it, she will surely have some needle and thread.


We got our wedding pictures back!  So here are a couple to enjoy!

My Girls and I
www.alyssabrownphotography.com

Married!
www.alyssabrownphotography.com

USGP Ft. Collins

Not a fancy title... I know, but today, I'm not creative.  Instead, I'm tired.  I had the privilage of waking up at 3am (mountain time, 2am PST) to catch a bus out of Boulder at 3:30am to get to the airport in time for my 6:30am flight back to Seattle.  I know 3:30am sounds early, but the next bus was just a smidgen too late for my comfort.  Who cares about what bus I took to get to DIA, lets hear about racing.

I always try to keep my words short and sweet, but sometimes when I think it's short, it turns out it's quite lengthy, for that, I apologize!

Day #1:

The day started out looking like it was going to be some epic Washington Cyclocross conditions.  Lots of rain, a little wind, rain, mud, cold, did I mention rain?  Oh and some mud.  Boy was I looking forward to my first cross race of the year in the MUD!  I pre-rode around 12pm, and by 1pm the rain stopped and the course was drying out.  What-the-heck!  If that was Washington the mud would have gotten deep and peanut buttery, but To-To I don't think we're in Washington anymore.  Much to my surprise the course was actually quite tacky and was drying quickly, just in time for the Elite Women's race.  Lucky me, I drew number 43, so I had the privalge of starting in the back (you know, the last row).  I chose the right side of the course to start on, knowing lots of people would move left and that way I could swoop past them on the right side.  It worked pretty well, but I did find myself mid pack in the 3rd corner.  As I looked up ahead of me I watched the front of the race ride away about 3 corners away.  Starting in the back sucks.  I managed to crawl my way to a 12th place finish, even though my legs kind of felt like lead.  That was a weird sensation, but I heard thats what altitude will do to you.  This was my best UCI finish!  I had a great time, scored some more UCI points, made some bucks, and had a ton of fun.  I love this racing business.

Day #2:

The luck of the draw.  Literally..I wasn't so lucky with my drawing a number out of bag, number 38.  Maybe it's the 2nd to last row, WAHOO!  I started on the ride side again, made the same moves, but they didn't go too well for me this day.  My start didn't put me as far forward as I would have liked.  The bonus for today was how my legs felt.  SO-MUCH-BETTER.  But the racing was much faster, that the whole race I don't think I ever caught my breath (altitude?  I thought I was suffocating).  I was extremely tired working my booty off trying to move forward.  I was flimsy, un-graceful, and..choppy (for lack of a better word).  I was redlining it, gunning it, the whole time.  Come the last lap I found myself in a group of 3, all vying for that 10th place finish (UCI POINTS)!  On one of the up hill climbs I put in 120% effort to get in front of the girls, and I did.  the outcome?  Fatigued legs, a tired face, lack of oxygen, and a 12th place finish.  The girls passed me with about 1 minute to go in the race.  Lesson learned, suck wheel more, trust your sprint.

I can't wait for this years UCI points to kick in.  Truthfully, I am done starting in the back of the pack!  When I look at my lap times they are very comparable to 7th, 8th, 9th, place finishers, but it's that first lap time that is 15-20 seconds slower than theirs because they get to start in the front and don't have to work through all that traffic for the first lap of the race.  They don't have to work 193% to get past all 30 riders.  Soon enough I will be rewarded!

All in all I had a great weekend.  Russell Stevenson and Nikole hosted me for the weekend, I got to meet their adorable little man, hang with cool people, and see a new city.

Total UCI points since Vegas and after USGP: 10

Next time I race a USGP I will get a call up and wont have to draw my number from a bag.  YIPPEE!!!!

Lets Chase the Dream

It's here...my reality has struck and it's time I admit to myself and everyone else...I guess you could say "I'm chasing the dream" along with 2947305936202 other riders.  How I'm supposed to stand out from those riders, I don't know, but I'm sure as hell going to try.  Maybe I will just smile a lot and wink at the attractive men (do they exist in the bike world?).  Okay, maybe I wont.  Maybe I will try riding really hard at all the races, maybe I will race them like I'm going to win, because everyone has a chance to win (even if it is REALLY small).

For some crazy reason people believe in me (what the?!), they think I have the ability to go further, to go beyond what I'm doing now.  It's crazy to me, I have a large desire to, but I'm also scared.  What am I most intimidated by?  What is everyone most intimidated by?  Fear of failure.  Fear of being embarrassed, of letting someone down, of not being up to par.  I have never wanted to admit to myself, or anyone else for that matter, my desire.  My desire to race in the big leagues.  I have never loved a sport as much as I love Cyclocross.  I have never felt such a community as I do every weekend at the races.  Which brings me to why I sat down to write this blog post.

Fear

Fear of what?  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of not knowing the girls I'm racing against, of not having the friendly faces cheering for me, fear of failure, fear of not loving the sport anymore.  Fear that what I might love most about the sport is my team, the cookies, the camadarie, the family I have gained the last 2 years of racing.  Fear that it's possible I could lose it all, fear of missing the fun at home.

The other day I sat down and looked at my personal calendar.  I looked at the dates of some UCI races and then I looked at the dates of our Local races, they over lap.  My heart sank, but then it started beating faster and faster, my nerves increased, and I almost felt sick.  That's when I realized that if I do those UCI races, I'm going to miss my Local scene, the scene that has developed me as a rider, the scene that I look forward to every August.  It aches to think about not being there every...single...weekend.

I love that I can show up  and smile and feel like I know everyone.  Because really:

"Sometimes you want to go 

Where everybody knows your name, 

and they're always glad you came. 

You wanna be where you can see, 

our troubles are all the same 

You wanna be where everybody knows 

Your name"

If you can name that song...good for you!  Back to seriousness...it's incredible, people I don't even know (should I know them?) know my name!  When I pass them in the race they say my name.  Sometimes it makes me want to cry, its just so amazing!  Thank you to everyone for all your support!

Tonight marks the end of my first weekend being a "competitor" in a USGP race.  It's bittersweet not being at home racing within my comfort, but I had a good time.  Race report to follow.  

Cyclocross thus far

It's taken me a bit to write this post because I don't quite know how to fit everything I want to say into one blog post.  I have a lot to say, a lot to process.  Lets put it this way:

3 years ago when I first started racing cross if someone told me I would be where I am right now, I would have dropped my jaw.  Let me tell you about my first cross race...ever.  It was at Maris Farms (for those of you who know the course...yuck) it was at the beginning of November and I had no idea what I was doing.  I showed up to the race with my stock tires inflated to 60psi, with 10 minutes of practice on how to dismount and mount my bike (practiced the night before), but boy was I ready to race that cross bike.  I lined up in the back row for the Cat4 women's race nervous as all heck, there were pumpkins lining the course, how was I supposed to dodge those????  Well to put a rough 30 minutes into a couple of sentences...I didn't know how to turn my bike, I crashed in a corn maze, I crashed going straight in the grass, I fell on my face on the "run up", I think I crashed 10 times, I could hardly mount my bike, but man was I stoked on life.  Even with my lack of ability and knowledge of the sport I finished 5th.  I didn't think that was too bad!  I think I fit in about 5 races that year and then I went to collegiate nationals and finished 5th!  After those first 5 races I knew I was hooked, and there was nothing better than cyclocross.  The rest is history.

Rocking the Mad Fiber wheels at Labor Day CX

This year, I decided it was time for a new bike.  I bought a new Redline in August, and I LOVE it!  It's fast and carbonliscous.  Then my dear friend Dave (last name not listed to protect the innocent) told me I needed fast wheels.  He hooked me up with Paul (last name not listed to protect the innocent) from a Seattle based wheel company Mad Fiber.  Paul set me up with a sponsorship for a set of wheels, especially for this big race I signed up for (CrossVegas).  I have never had fancy equipment before, this was BIG for me.  Since CrossVegas was September 19th I decided I needed to practice my CX skills before the big race, so I did some early races (even though I didn't really want to).  I certainly didn't want to embarrass myself in front of a lot of spectators and Pro CX racers.

I raced the Labor Day Cyclocross Championships, and that was quite a fun course for a dry fast September course.  I finished 1st in the women's race, and decided I wasn't tired enough that I decided to race in the Cat3 men's race, and finished 3rd!  The following weekend was MFG's first race of the season at Big Finn Hill.  I won again!  I felt really comfortable on my bike and with those new Mad Fiber wheels, I was FLYING.  I was accelerating out of the corners quickly, and I felt confident on my bike (and wheels) with their abilities to carry me through the turns and the straight sections.  I didn't feel like my wheels where going to going sliding out from under me (unlike my bike from last year).  I could rail the turns (given it has been bone dry) with a HUGE amount of confidence.  The dry courses always tend to be a bit bumpy, but with those wheels I hardly noticed ANY bumps.  They absorbed it all, they seriously ROCK, and they look cool too.  Did I mention how awesomely light they are?  Basically, I am one lucky girl to ride those wheels.

Lets talk about CrossVegas.  I hate Vegas (the city), it's not for me.  If I can't ride my bike out my front door, I'm typically not a happy camper.  I can't ride my bike out the front door there...well I could, but I think it would be suicide.  So for about 2 days I was stressing.  Then race day came.  The morning of the race we pre-rode the course, which doubled up as opening up our legs AND getting to know the course!  Chris was racing the USAC category race, so we had to get to the venue extra early and soak up the sun rays.  Chris raced at 5pm in the blazing heat and finished in a whopping 13th place!  With a start close to the back.  Good job husband!  After his race I started getting a little nervous, and as the night crept on, I started getting REALLY nervous.  This race would be the biggest race I had ever done.  Did I mention the best part about it...my last row call up.  If you have UCI points you are called up based on how many points you have, if you don't have UCI points then it's a random order.  Lucky me I was given number 55...of 60?  Yes folks, that's a last row call up.  To say the least I was a bit nervous, disappointed, and anxious, but there's nothing I can do about it but try to work hard to get to the front of the race.

Once the race started and we went through the start lap I found myself in the top 20.  I then found myself vying for spots with the top riders at the race.  Within the first 2 laps I realized I was riding with the pros, I was number 55 amongst a sea of sponsored riders.  I realized at that moment, that I could keep up, that I belonged there, that I could do this.  I fought for my placement in Vegas.  I fought for my 13th place, and I couldn't be happier.  13th place out of 46 starters.  What?  I'm still trying to soak this in.  The week after Vegas I had a huge out poor of support from my community, from my team, from people I hardly even know!  I feel like a celebrity, at the races people know my name, they know who I am, and I don't even know if I have ever seen their faces!

Lake Sammammish GP Cat3 Men

With the support I have received from my team (and others)  I will hopefully be able to race all the USGPs, I will hopefully be able to get my name out there, and I will hopefully find my spot in this crazy bike racing scene.  The only love (besides Chris) that keeps me going, that gives me reason to keep riding, to keep moving every day, to wake up early every Sunday and drive for 4-6 hours total to race for 45 minutes, this is Cyclocross and for 4 months of the year I devote my life to this silly sport.

And they lived happily ever after...

Wow, I just had the best week of my life...thus far.

Two Saturday's ago, September 15th, Chris and I shared our vows in front of all of our friends and family (almost 180 people)!  The day was such a blur I don't even know if I remember it!  It was seriously one of the best days of my life.  Yes, timing ran a little...over, with..everything, but I had a ball.  I spent some serious girl time with my best girl friends, and I wed my best friend.  The wedding was amazing.  Chris and I wrote our own vows, we left the ceremony on a tandem bike, then left the wedding on a fire engine for some alone time!  The reception was a blast, even though my father chose to roast me instead of toast the newly wed couple, but I guess it's all for the name of love.  The day and night would not have gone any better without the help of some awesome vendors.

My dad and mom.   

My dear dear (and 8 months pregnant friend) Stefanie did my hair.  She always cuts my hair and I always love it.  She rocks, and works at Salon Bellissima in Fairhaven.  Sarah Rorvig helped me feel like a beautiful princess by doing my make up perfectly!  I wish I could have her make up skills, she is awesome!  Alyssa Brown and her trusty sidekick Andrea Devisser (who was Alyssa's assistant for the day) did a fabulous job acting as our own personal paparazzi.  I am in love with our little bit of what I call "teaser photos" that Alyssa posted on Facebook.  Drew Graham (Wanna Dance, the mobile DJ) was our DJ for the Ceremony and the Reception, and boy did he do a fabulous job.  Lots of feedback regarding his awesome playlist, his ability to manage a crowd, and his amazingly fantastic personality.  I don't think I left the dance floor all night, every song was a hit!  Renea Roberts of Glacier Lily Design acted as our Day of Coordinator, and I couldn't have had a better person for the job.  She was on site the Friday before the wedding making sure set up went well, ran us through the rehearsal, and didn't flinch (too much) when we told her we were riding out of the ceremony on a tandem!  As we all know, I love deserts, so naturally I picked the best dessert shop in town to make my cake.  Pure Bliss Desserts, thank you for making my cake so beautifully simple and elegant.  I didn't want to cut into it!  My new cousin did our flowers, and I LOVED my bouquet!  It was just perfect.  I can't thank my bridesmaids enough. They were so helpful and supportive on the day, I couldn't have picked a better group of girls to stand next to me as I said goodbye to my single life!  

www.alyssabrownphotography.com

Even my brother showed up dressed to impress

It was a perfect day.  Could life have gotten any better after that night?  Stay tuned for my next blog post.  BIG STUFF!  Well...sort of.

What The?

Don't worry, I'm still alive.

I know it may seem as if I have passed, but I'm still here running in circles.  Let me bring you up to date.

June was crazy busy with a race every weekend.  I had fun, rode my bike really hard, lost one of my jobs, and tried to not curse at the weather.  The last weekend of June my friend Tina threw me a bridal shower!  It included my closest friends, and I had such a good time!  I seriously have the best friends a girl could ask for.  THANK YOU!

Happy 5 years!

July came around (faster than I could have asked for it) and then all of the sudden Chris and I had been dating for 5 years.  We did the usual trip to Winthrop for the weekend and we had a blast.  Although unlike the past couple of years, it was HOT!  As in 90 degrees plus.  The first day Joe Brown (owner of the Methow Ski and Cycle) sent us on (what I called) a death march up some long fire road climb, to some pretty awesome single track.  Although I felt like I was only climbing the whole time on the single track, it was pretty fun.  You know it's going to be a long weekend of riding when your legs are already tired and it's only Friday. 

The usual ride!

The folllowing day we did a "mellow" ride called "bear mountain figure 8".  Last year we tried to do this ride but they hadn't cleared one of the trails out, so we did bear mountain figure 0.  Then on Sunday we did the usual highway 20 ride up to Washington Pass.  We left ultra early to beat the heat, but it was still hot as hell when we came down.  We both went through 6 water bottles, it was THAT crazy hot! 

The following weekend I was blessed with a weekend at home!  I didn't have to drive anywhere, but it was also the weekend of the Padden Mountain Pedal.  And since that was literally in my back yard, I HAD to race it.  I wasn't looking forward to it, especially since I was the only open women, but I went out and ended up having a ton of fun.  I love to support as many local races as I can.  Besides, there is nothing like riding the padden course for 5 laps.  The following day a couple of my teammies from Voler/Bicycle Centres came up and us Bellinghamsters played tour guide in the Chuckanuts. 

The weekend after Padden was the last race of the Fat Tire Revolution series.  This race was in Roslyn and I had never raced it, but I wasn't looking forward to it.  To say the least, I was pretty burnt out on racing.  The race didn't start well, or end well.  It was hot and I didn't hydrate pre-race...at all.  So when I stopped sweating and started getting goosebumps I decided to call it quits.  I ended up 2nd in the series overall.

The rest of July went really fast. I had been working on crazy fun wedding plans, and figuring out the fun details of wedding planning. Then we took a vacation to the usual Vancouver Island. We had a complete blast and it was seriously awesome to leave town and not think about anything, espeically wedding planning!

At the top of Mt. Washington.  We climbed, climbed, and climbed!

In case you couldn't tell....

On the decent down from the top.  The Valley is behind us.  Seriously...beautiful views up there. 

Too funny not to pass up



We spent some time on the beach, as usual

Had some river days



Mountain biking on the forbidden plateau, looking down onto Comox Lake

A sand bar island.  Watching as the tide engulfs the fam



And lots of rides to other beaches. 

Alright, we had a really good time.  I almost cleared the toughest stuff ever on the Forbidden Plateau(on my mountain bike), but after having enough jitteries from decending real scary steep downhills, I decided I didn't want to push my limit.  Then...I had a minor crash and decided to walk the rest of the scarys teep stuff.  Next year, my goal will be to clear it ALL!  We spent 11 days on the Island, and it was just right, especially with a wedding right around the corner.  The views in the Comox Valley are absolutly breathtaking.  I love being there so much, I feel so lucky to have a beautiful and awesome place to visit every summer. 

I thought my life would calm down in August, but it didn't.  I had another Bridal Shower, this time thrown by Chris's mom, Sue.  It was a great time!  We had a wedding, and my Bachlorette party to attend!!!  My girls and I decided we wanted to go to Leavenworth, and that we did!!!  What a blast.  We hiked, floated the river, played games, drank tequila, and sang Kareokee.  I couldn't have had a better time.  I would do it again in a heart beat!  LOVE YOU (my friends). 

I am going to make you wait for the juicy details of how the early season cyclocross racing has been going.  I need a whole new post to tell you about that.  Besides, it's time for me to go for a ride in this beautiful sunshine.